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The Little, Ugly Duckling
 In the mirror she stares, 
 With those wild eyes of blue and grey
 Upon her pale and chapped lips it lingers,
 Those little words she wishes to say,
 Yet she never dares,
 Only lifts to her face her nimble fingers,
 "If this face of mine were beautiful, would I be happy at last?"
The little ugly duckling asked,
 Her gaze traveled across the white of her skin,
 From the swell of her breast,
 To the shape of her thighs, so pale and thin
 She looks upon herself, She is no beauty
 She is only simple at best,
 But she wishes she was, truly
 "If someday I became beautiful, would someone love me at last?"
 The little ugly duckling asked,
 What she sees in her reflection as she cries,
 Is just a girl with long dark hair,
 And rings lining her solemn eyes
 Sitting before a mirror, bare
 "If my hair were golden, would I be beautiful at last?"
 That litt
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 6 21
It's only love 20 (Luffy x reader)
 By some odd stroke of luck, Luffy found a hatch atop the whale when (Y/n) had thought for sure they would be goners with the whale quickly preparing to submerge. After Luffy's ingenious plan of beating the whale until it spit out their crew mates, the Whale decided it had had enough and was going to go below the icy waters. 
 (Y/n) didn't have time to contemplate the reason for a whale having a hatch on its body, for her hyperactive Captain grasped her small wrist firmly in one of his strong hands before dragging her rather roughly into its murky depths, she couldn't even open her soft lips in protest to the idea. 
 Brown eyes widened in shock, her captain's pale lips falling open in disbelief at the strange discovery laid out before the duo's eyes. 
 There was a passage way, lined with metal and wood. Screws and other oddities seemed to hold the makeshift tunnel together, all of which vaguely reminding her of
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 14 18
A Wolf in Sheep's Skin [Reader x ?]
A/n: This is a Harry Potter reader insert, the pairing is undecided.
 It is quite cold within the castle. The walls are old, their surfaces withered and marred and there is a certain dampness to them. Despite it's decay, dust and mold there is something about it's age that speaks of wisdom, like long forgotten stories spoken in hushed tongues emanating from the very architecture. 
 It is intriguing, sparking a light of curiosity within her. For it's age far surpasses her own by centuries upon centuries, it's ancient walls withholding many secrets that she often found herself wondering would ever be told. And yet it is exactly the presence of those secrets, the mystery of the unknown that truly sets her heart ablaze.
 The sound of students quietly chatting among themselves, heading towards their respective classes for the day, is the sound that echoes and reverberates through out the halls. She does not pay their conversations much mind, for most of them are of no in
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 3 0
New target 7 (ASL x Reader)
  "ACE! HAVE YOU SEEN (Y/N)?" Sabo called up to the older boy, said ebony haired boy look down from the tree he was climbing to stare into Sabo's eyes. Ace shook his head to tell Sabo he had not seen the girl that day, and curiously, he slipped down the tree to join Sabo on the ground.
 "No, why?" Ace asked, almost agitated. Perhaps (Y/n) was sick, and if so, he may need to go take care of her. The Orphanage didn't supply sufficient medical treatment, and so Ace often took (Y/n) to Makino for help. 
 "Can't find her anywhere. Think she is still at the Orphanage?" Sabo asked curiously, Ace's eyes narrowed dangerously as he thought things through. They needed to check on her, to make sure she was not hurt. 
 "We should go check, in case we have to kick someones ass." Ace replied, but soon enough Luffy came racing towards them in a flurry of panic, tears and snot flying in the wind behind him.
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 25 42
[The stars that faded] Ch 26
Chapter 26: A Chilling Whisper

 The soft, rhythmic sound of quick feet padding along the floors filled the still air as three Elves rushed along the winding corridors towards their destination. There was this sensation of dread that filled the King of the Woodland Realms chest, churning within him and threatening to boil it's way up his throat.
 As they drew ever closer to that familiar room, the halls reflecting remnants of broken memories he had so desperately attempted to shut out, he could feel the nostalgia bubbling up within him. It was thick, like tar clinging stubbornly to his being. And no matter how hard he tried to ignore it or rid himself of it, it only continued to threaten to consume him whole.
 The Elven King, Thranduil, had not set foot in that long forsaken room for 11 years, let alone enter the accursed wing in which it so quietly resided. It had been a  far to painful reminder of the absence of his child to even consi
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 2 0
Crimson Pepper 4 (Shanks x Reader)
 "(Y/N)?" Buggy screeched, his eyes all but bugging out of his head at the sight of the girl he had once known. Or rather, at the Beautiful Lady the tomboyish girl had transformed into. He couldn't believe his eyes, in fact, Buggy wasn't sure if this woman was even who she appeared to be.
  (Y/n) was supposed to be dead. Dead as a doornail.
 "OI, QUITE YER' YAPPIN' BIG NOSE!" (Y/n) retorted, nearly snarling at the younger male as she did so. He shrank back at her intimidating tone. 
 Looks like it really was her after all. 
  "It's been a long time since we've seen each other." (Y/n) stated, though the statement was blatantly obvious to the two males before her.
 The look on the red haired man's face twisted in a mixture of sadness and happiness at the words the woman had spoken. His lips quivered and his brows furrowed as he seemingly held back tears, whether th
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 44 13
Crimson pepper 3(Shanks x Reader)
 Standing amidst the chaos of Marineford was a shadowy silhouette, a figure hidden beneath the cascading fabric of a dark cloak. Wise (e/c) hues gazing upon the battlefield, drinking in the vast sight. Among the many people present on the island, there was one that was very familiar.
 It had been a long time since she had felt that presence, and many years had passed since that day. 
 Glancing towards the source of the presence, she caught sight of a familiar head of crimson locks. She was met with the unfamiliar picture of a tall, lanky and a muscular built man as said man came to the rescue of the brave soldier who stood up to the Admiral. His body falling into a stance that she knew all too well, the nostalgic image of the swift unsheathing of a sword as he blocked the Admiral's attack.
 She hummed in amusement at the sight, ignoring the roar of confused comments and whispers which spread like wildfire among the beings who witnessed the arrival of the
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 46 19
Dangerous Impulse [7]
[Yagami Light x Male! OC x L]
Chapter 7:   


 It was eerily silent within the darkness of the room, and the air was so thick that he felt as if he was choking on it. Electric blue orbs gazed up from beneath dark eyelashes, meeting with intense copper hues upon the handsome face which loomed just over his head. His mouth went completely dry, feeling his face burn heatedly as his chest tightened from the embarrassment.
 Light continued to stare down at the pale boy sprawled out beneath him. There was something very intimate about this kind of position, and yet it was still very awkward. Nonetheless, the blue eyed male's heart raced rapidly within the confines of its ivory cage.
 "You seriously got hard from this?" Light asked curiously, raising a questioning brow. His tone was nonchalant, but there was something about it that lingered in his words. It was almost like Light was taunting To
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 0 0
Fantasy Novel Preview 4
Folktales, The Sacred Land

 There is a tale telling of an age long ago, in a time far before the first war that swept these dying lands. It tells of a time ere the resentment man bore to the Elves. An Era where all creatures coexisted peacefully with one another in a pure land. A land so sacred that the very mention of its name is unheard of in these grief filled times, full of nothing but Death and suffering.
 All that is known of this scarcely spoken of place is what was told in ancient Legends, passed down through centuries in times of despair and loss of hope. Cheerful songs that speak of Valor, victory and triumph. Tales of love and struggle told through brilliant works of literature. 
 Literature that was locked safely away in the vast collection of knowledge the Elves harbor.
 The Legends say that to the far north, past the Pale Forest and across the Volatile Seas, a land lay hidden behind a veil of ethereal mist. Long forgotten by ev
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 2 7
Fantasy Novel Preview 3
A/n: This is a preview of the novel I am writing, it is part of the history I am developing for the story. Steal this and I will stab a bitch, besides...stealing it is useless anyways because it's not completed. And I plan to copy right it, so if you do steal it you will be breaking a law. Let me know what you think about it, It will be revised and all that jazz
 Tales of Old, Book 2: Destruction

 Born of the purest kind of evil was a being who would ultimately bring about the doom of man, sealing their fates for eternity. He is called by many names, among them is his given name, Sevoner. 
 The one who betrayed the trust of his Elven bretheren, overcome by darkness and resentment. Although related not by blood, Sevoner was dear in the eyes of  the wise and benevolent Esilren. For when they had hunted together, raised their cups to peace together, shared laughter and tales of greatness with one another, Esilren had found the deepest form of friendship.
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 5 20
Painted Lips [Reader x Surprise!] 2
 She didn't question it, or rather she couldn't question it with her throat so dry as it was. With rigid movements, she took the cup from the woman's slender hand and drank it down without difficulty. The feeling of the cool liquid slipping down her throat, coating it in the much needed moisture, soothed the dry sensation that had made speaking difficult.
 As she finished swallowing, her keen onyx orbs met with amber once more. The blonde woman was staring intensely at her, and (Y/n) felt the weight of such a gaze. This woman had a strong presence, and she was undeniably beautiful. (Y/n)'s eyes were drawn to the woman's forehead, it was adorned with some kind of blue diamond and (Y/n) vaguely remembered something but she wasn't really sure what.
 Though (Y/n) could care less about the woman right at that moment, she was more concerned with finding out just what the hell was going on. Blowing her unusually long and unkempt bangs from their obstructive place in her eyes
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 5 5
Unhappy Happy Ending
 Long ago...
 A distant memory,
 Of a vaguely familiar voice that says
 "Do you believe in happily ever after?"
 Traveling on this long road,
 Every shaky breath you take...
 Will bring you one step closer to
 A place where...
 You'll find your happy ending

 Waking up...
 To the sound of blaring of sirens in your ears,
 Drowning out the sound of screaming
 "I'll kill them all"
 Knowing nothing...
 Holding on to the sound of a rapid heartbeat
 As you fall into the trance of reality
 "They'll regret it"
 Looking at the torn futures that begin piling up
 Holding your breathe,
 The rusted beams of memories
 Inside your head
 Around and Around...
 They spin!
 As you close your eyes
 Nothing is left behind, No sound escapes, there's no destination...
 Is this really what you want? Is this really what you'll do?
 Even now the afteri
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 2 10
Warning: Contains dark themes although not explicit nor obvious. Do not read if you do not like that.
 The hand that had previously been extended is no longer visible,
 It's in this world, unable to see, something is waiting to strike...
 Blindly fumbling around,
 Feeling like your mind is going to overflow
 When someone is screaming so loud,
 It'd be impossible not to hear!
 "Hey, do you remember me?" Where the words that I was forced to swallow
 Where is everyone? Where have they gone?
 Does no one hear?
 Crying out,
 Tears running down my face
 I began to shake, my vision started to sway
 I see the light illuminate a terrace
 Just beyond...that smirking face
 I kept crying even when I had realized...
 That you had heard my screams
 Flowing from lips are someones words of protest,
 The initial pain disappeared as they tore it away
 Even so, it was so dark that I
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 5 15
[The stars that faded] Ch 25
Chapter 25: Dreams are often omens, whether they tell of good fortune...or misfortune.

 "This isn't just love for your sister anymore, it is a dangerous obsession." Haldir explained sternly, his face softening as he looked at the Prince with an almost sympathetic expression written on his Elven features. But Legolas didn't want the older Elf's sympathy, he wanted the Ellon to explain himself before he strangled him.
 Legolas seemed slightly surprised on the outside, and anyone who did not know the Prince well would have thought he had been insulted by Haldir's seemingly harsh and judgmental words. The implications in the older Ellon's words was enough to make Legolas enraged. His icy eyes widened, filling with a fire and passion that Haldir rarely ever saw in people. 
 The Prince's face twisted slightly in anger, his nostrils flaring and his brow furrowing ferociously. One would be terrified by such an intimidating look, but Haldir knew that Lego
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 4 5
Sunlight [Laxus Dreyer x Reader RQ]
 The sound of feet pounding across the cobblestones filled his ears, his eyes slid towards the source of the rhythmic sound. Although he couldn't clearly see who was racing towards him at such a rapid pace, he was absolutely certain he knew exactly who it was that was flying towards his large form.
 The force of her smaller body colliding with his muscled chest was enough to send even him stumbling slightly backwards. Her legs wrapped as best as they could around his waist, her arms snaking around his neck as she placed her face in the crook of his neck. He could feel something hot and wet dripping onto the exposed skin of his neck.
 Was she crying?
 He resisted the urge to scoff, knowing all to well that the girl had only done this because she had missed him. She had been on a job when he had come back to the guild after such a long time. She must have raced back the moment she caught word of his return, and he briefly wondered if she had ran the enti
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 62 16
Sleeping Beauty [Sasuke x Sister! Reader]
A/n: Trigger Warning, this hints at topics that may be sensitive to some people. So if you are easily offended, or have problems with PTSD, or Depression, this might trigger you. There is mention of death, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts. And there is a little hint of incest, not obviously, and there is no "romance" between them, it's just vaguely there.
  The air was cold that morning, the sun had barely risen and yet there he lay, motionless upon the soft surface of his bed. How many times had he wasted the night away, tormented by memories and thoughts that only seemed to invoke pain and suffering? He wasn't sure, though he had grown accustomed to the absence of sleep.
  It was all said and done now, the world was finally settling down. Things had fallen into place, and with Naruto as the new Hokage, Konoha and the rest of the Ninja world were experiencing a new Era of peace. 
  Still, he could not find peace in his heart. 
  They say time
:iconriseagainstevil:riseagainstevil 30 6


Hey, everyone!
Sorry that haven't uploaded jack squat for a while. I'm a senior in college trying to focus on life, so... yeah. So, update time. I have two more semesters until I graduate from college, so yay!
I'Llama do movie reviews still, but I have to go back to Summer school starting June.
So... let's talk about Whole Cake Island Arc. 1) Big Mom and Judge aren't winning Parents of the Year awards, 2) why do the Vinsmokes siblings sans Sanji look like Power Rangers, and 3) is it... is it bad that I, uh, kinda like seeing all of Big Mom'said kids (*cough, cough* kinda wanna see more of Katakuri, *cough, cough*). Like, of all the people, I'm more invested in Big Mom'said MANY children.
Also, Jinbe and Brook are MVPs of this arc. Brook not only got the copy of the Road Poneglyphs, but he broke the picture of Mother Caramel. Jinbe, of course, is a badass Fishman who certainly is an official Straw Hat. Yep, kinda liking this arc. I just hope that, y'know, it doesn't end so quick.
with t
:iconmissamaterasu18:MissAmaterasu18 1 95
Response to Tag Journal #7623
You asked for it :iconCyberKirby19:
1.) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"... another. For example, to attach a hat to a head,"
The book in question was Sock Doll Workshop
2.) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you reach?
One of the handles of my dresser
3.) What is the last thing you watched on TV?
PBS Nature
4.) Without looking guess what time it is?
5.) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
6.) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The breeze outside
7.) When did you last step outside? 
9am-1:30pm. Loveliest spring day I ever had.
8.) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My plushies
9.) What are you wearing?
My pajamas
10.) Did you dream last night?
Can't remember
11.) When did you last laugh?
This afternoon
12.) What is on one of the walls you are in? posters ....?
A giant rainbow dreamcatcher
13.) Seen anything weird lately?
14.) What do you think of this quiz?
:iconthe-ocean-sings:the-ocean-sings 1 47
Tino talks: The steps of making and OC
This is how I make an oc. You may do it differently, but this is how I do it.
First off I usually make a design I like, get some kind of hum for a personality that way, then move over to make the character sheet. I may not type everything in, in one go, I've actually only completed two. Anyway, this is how my character sheets look like.
Name: If I can't think of one on my own, I use This generator. It has a lot of settings, so have fun with that.
Age: I usually have a hum of which age I want my characters want to be around.
Birthday: Here I usually use a number generator. This one is easy to use. Put in month first, then day.
Gender: Male/Female/Agender are the ones I usually stick to. This may be changed, it depends on which universe they're in. For example, my oc Vijaya is agender, but in a modern universe they would be genderfluid.
:iconluffythaking:LuffyThaKing 4 5
100 Watchers Raffle!
Hello loves! Wow! I actually got to 100 watchers…
I didn’t really think that would happen, but I am happy that it did. Thank you guys for watching me and liking what I write! It’s a big confidence booster!
So for some fun, I thought maybe I could do a raffle! Whoever wins can put in a request for a fic written by yours truly, and second place a request written by an awesome friend of mine :iconLuffyThaKing:
Anyway, to participate favorite this and leave a comment and I will send you a number all your own! I’ll draw numbers and announce the winners on the 13th! Thanks again everyone! Heart 
:iconknightannabeth:KnightAnnabeth 7 24
Looking Forward by Yutaan Looking Forward :iconyutaan:Yutaan 1,021 50 Fistbump by NearRyuzaki90 Fistbump :iconnearryuzaki90:NearRyuzaki90 14 1
Tino talks: Where to find the Viking
Just gonna drop other places where I'm on, so go ahead and follow me on there or friend or whatever.
Tumblr: @/lavaprincetino (Not so active)
Youtube: @/LuffyThaKing (Once every blue moon)
Instagram: @/lavaprincetino (Personal, fairly active), @/tinodrawsstuff (Art, fairly active), @/luffythaking (Cosplay, active during cons and cosplay making)
Facebook: You can find me as Tino Walker, and I currently have Ace as my profile pic. I reblog a ton of shit, so prepare to have your newsfeed taken over by me. I'm online pretty much all the time, so don't hesitate to send a message or anything.
Yeah, that's about it. Have fun.
:iconluffythaking:LuffyThaKing 1 0
Welcome to the Nightmare
    You wake up to the sound of dripping, opening your eyes to a darkened room, the only furniture being a desk in front of you and the chair you were sitting in. A person sat on the desk humming quietly to themselves before leaning forward.
    “Oooooo you’re awake! Good good!”
    “Who are you?”, you ask, looking around the room again.
    “Oh right silly me. You know me as KnightAnnabeth. Weird right?”, she giggles. “Don’t know where I came up with that, but I’m too lazy to change it.”, she taps her chin. “Just call me Knight, ‘kay!” hopping from the desk, she gives a bow. “I’m so excited to meet you! Welcome to my head! Well sort of. This is just a part of it. The rest of it’s pretty dark and scary. Anyways! Nice t’ meetcha!”, she hums sticking out a hand for you to shake.  
:iconknightannabeth:KnightAnnabeth 3 1
Lets Talk
Alright loves, I wish to bring to everyone's attention that many writers on D.A do not have English as their mother language. Some of them get called out on minor errors and mistakes. And that's kinda wrong if you only mention errors. No one's perfect and honestly, they're doing better than me and I was born in America.
 What I'm trying to say is.. Sure we all make errors and stuff, we'll learn from them. But it's really disheartening when the only thing people point out are the errors. You all feel disheartened about it when it happens to you, so don't do it to others. If it's a comment that would put you down then don't send it. Common courtesy. Treat others like you want to be treated. And please try to be more thoughtful with your comments. I love you guys, you're good to me, but try to remind others and newcomers about this problem.
:iconpiratequeend:PirateQueenD 12 11
I can't remember
"Hey Rose! Remember me?"
No, I can't remember.
"What did I tell you yesterday?"
I can't remember.
"Geeze, why didn't you study for this?"
I did, I just can't remember.
"Hey remember that one time..."
No, I can't.
"Why didn't you remember?"
I don't know
"What's wrong with you?"
"Useless child"
"Fuck off"
"Go die"
"You were a mistake"
"Why can't you be more like..."
"I wish I never had you"
"I don't like Rose"
"You're doing it wrong"
Sorry guess I forgot
This has been going on my whole life and I'm sorry I forget but I can't help it.
Most people 'can't help' eating the last piece of cake, and they say it as an excuse.
Some 'can't help it' that they didn't do their homework.
But I cant help if I forget.
This is something I cannot control, it is not an urge, it is not an excuse.
I really can't help it.
I can't see a future where I grow old because I haven't thought about it.
Or maybe I forgot it.
Like I forgot my will to live.
:icondehchickwhodied:Dehchickwhodied 1 3
Luffy's Holiday Treats by the-ocean-sings Luffy's Holiday Treats :iconthe-ocean-sings:the-ocean-sings 8 61 Low cost commission - Corey by multieleonora96 Low cost commission - Corey :iconmultieleonora96:multieleonora96 10 0 Shortie by Miiukka Shortie :iconmiiukka:Miiukka 111 26 Eden by Nicole-Jimenez Eden :iconnicole-jimenez:Nicole-Jimenez 49 14 brothers by Nicole-Jimenez brothers :iconnicole-jimenez:Nicole-Jimenez 238 29



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Journal History


 I'm okay now.
 I've been dealing with high levels of stress due to health and the end of the school year assignments. But I've recently been working on my depression and I've achieved some results due to my hard work.

 I should be able to get back to writing this summer, so hopefully you'll read the updates on my works. 

 Thank you so much to all of the people who were there for me and are my friends here on DA! I really appreciate your kindness. 
 As it has turned out from one of my recent blood draws, I am severely anemic and this was the last of the symptoms of Leukemia that I have. This leads me to the conclusion that I likely do have leukemia, a form of cancer that affects the blood. I will still need to check with my doctors and see a cancer specialist to confirm things and make sure that it is or isn't leukemia...but things aren't looking to great.

 I apologize for my long absence on DA, I love writing and I love reading your comments, but I just am falling apart at the seams right now. It's doctor after doctor, and one thing after another thing wrong with me keeps showing up, from unexplained bruises and cuts to nose bleeds and intense stomach pains and nausea and vomiting. 

 I'm tired, weak, fatigued, among many other things. And it's sending me into a downward spiral of depression that has made it hard for me to even roll out of bed in the morning. 

 I didn't know what was wrong with me, my doctors didn't know what was wrong with me, and that scared me more than anything in the world. I wondered if I had some new, incurable disease that would randomly take my life, and that's still a possibility. 

 My doctors still aren't sure what is wrong with me, but they think it is possible that my worry of it being leukemia is a plausible explanation.

 I just don't know. My dreams of being a writer or actor, my dreams of graduating and going to college, they don't seem that possible anymore. After all, I can hardly breathe or stand up without feeling dizzy and light headed and just sick.

 And I'm so stressed, about many things. I'm suicidal again, more so than I ever have been before, and nothing seems to be helping.

 I am just updating you guys, so you know. 
 I was in the hospital yesterday, my blood pressure was 140/95 and my heart rate was 135. The paramedics took me to the hospital via ambulance due to my chest and neck pain, they were worried about me having heart problems. The doctor's weren't able to lower my heart rate, even after giving me Ativan, which fucked me up by the way.

 I was seeing some pretty weird shit from that ativan, and it only made me feel even shittier than I already did. I'm back home now, but I have to take my pulse and blood pressure every two hours and write it down. I'm not to do anything active, or anything stressful.

 I apologize for having such shitty health.
I didn't realize this until I read the later my brother's birth Dad sent him...

But I'm jealous

His birth dad has never stopped loving him or trying to stay in touch

His Dad also has been working really hard to get out of Jail and go to rehab so he can earn the right to be a part of my brother's life But his Dad doesn't want to take him away from us, he just wants to be involved in his sons see him grow up

I'm so unbelievably jealous

Because my birth mom fucking gave me up without a fucking second thought, she left me in a god damn hospital because she couldn't pay the fucking hospital bill and she didn't even fucking try to complete rehab

She never writes me letters, never sent me pictures

My birth family don't either, my birth brother didn't want custody over me

He couldn't have cared less

My birth dad doesn't even know I fucking exist but my brother is loved by his birth family

It hurts.

I don't know why I'm so upset

i should be happy for him, but Instead I'm just super sad and upset

I actually started crying

I kinda told myself that I didn't care about my birth family, that they meant nothing to me

But I guess that isn't true.

I pretended that being adopted is easy, that it doesn't hurt at all, that my birth parents are probably stupid assholes anyways, so there is no reason for me to want to meet them...

And I thought I truly believed that, but apparently that's wrong

I kinda wished my birth dad would write me a letter, Or my birth mom, or even my birth brother.

Or that they'd try to find me, or something

But they couldn't care less about me.

My birth dad probably was a one night stand with my birth mom, my mom didn't want another kid and he probably didn't want one at all. 

My birth brother didn't want a sibling, I would have been a burden to him, so he refused custody

None of my other relatives were either alive or willing to take me...
Where did it all begin, I wonder.

Perhaps it began long before my tiny form was dragged forth from the warmth of my mother's womb, barely breathing. 

Perhaps it started centuries before my time, and yet I thought that it had died out much like this breath that is dying on my lips. 

It seems I'm suffocating once more, drowning in this sickening feeling and yet I cannot do anything about save for look on in disbelief.

Maybe I had been naive, or maybe it was simply denial, but I couldn't have ever fathomed that this would be the outcome. It hardly seemed possible, and so I hadn't really worried about it.

Surely it was a joke, I had thought, because it couldn't possibly be serious...but that must have been my very first mistake. 

The days dragged on and on, seemingly endless...and truly, honestly, it never seemed as if it would end, regardless of how much the desire for it to stop persisted.

 Just those grey blue eyes watching the pictures move fluidly across the bright screen of a TV one after another, an assortment of channels all covering the same topic that plagued everyone's mind. 

 Day after day, accusations flying left and right, the falling faces of strangers and the unfamiliar voices raising with quick retorts, all to eager to sink one another's ship.

 And still, somewhere deep inside me, there was a little voice. One that was meek and soft, timid by nature, telling me that this couldn't possibly continue.

 But I was wrong, wrong to assume that something is impossible, for anything is possible in this world I was born in. 

 But I watched on, with fluttering lashes and trembling lips. Watched as the ugly truth began to unfold, spreading it's grotesque wings and tainting the very air with it's wretchedness.

 Watched with dampening cheeks, and teary eyes as the words cut deep. Looked upon the peaceful face of my dearest little niece, sleeping so peaceful upon the couch, and thought of all the little girls in the world who would watch this. I thought of what they might feel, what I felt.

 Lies and truths, like wildfire they spread, from ear to ear, from the lips of strangers. It'd follow me, as I walked down the streets, those voice all pondering the same question as I was. 

 It had infected us, it was the topic of every conversation, it was everywhere. It had spread quickly, spiraling out of control before we even knew what was happening, and even still we decided to ignore it...because, against our better judgment, we thought our fears couldn't possibly come true.

 How silly of us.

I didn't understand, even now I do not understand. Cannot possibly begin to comprehend the reasons, how anyone could possibly be so ignorant and blind.

I had faith, believed to the very depths of my core, that no one could possibly be that horrid, that stupid.

But I was wrong.
How far it had come, how long it had dragged out, I had not expected it to get this far. And yet it did, but still I held faith, laughed and said "Ridiculous, there's no way!"

But then those words of mine, those thoughts, those arguments that I used to rationalize the idea in my head of this being impossible, it was all forced down my throat. I could hardly breathe, bile rising in the pit of my unsettling stomach and my mind going wild with it's restlessness. 

 That night, for the first time in many years, I had bowed my head and knelt down to pray. 

 "Oh god," I'd started with a trembling voice, "I know that I haven't the right to pray to you tonight, but I've never asked for much from you, you see," 

 As I steadied my heart and gathered my thoughts, I continued to plead, "But tonight, for you I have bent down on my knees, I beg that you please do something to intervene."

 I begged and pleaded, prayed until I thought I could say no more but it seemed that no one really was willing to listen.

So I watched with intensity, my hand on the smooth surface of the keyboard, watching. Like an obsession, as the sky grew dim and the only light to illuminate my face was the blue reflecting from the screen.

 I looked upon that little map, a map that was, in reality, not tiny at all. So familiar a sight it was, for I had grown up seeing those same shapes and names painted across pages and boards through out my childhood.

 It was lit up in pink and baby blue, the colors of cotton candy and baby showers, and yet I wasn't excited to see this colors at all. Not like this, not under this circumstance. 

 I watched as that map slowly turn, one agonizing shape at a time, from pink to a deep red until there was barely any blue remaining. And I sunk into my seat, with disbelief setting itself into my features as something unpleasant feeling crept into my being. 

 I stared at that crimson map, red like the suffering and bloodshed that would soon stain those very same lands. Red like the burning feeling in my eyes which mirrored the fire setting my heart and stomach ablaze.

 I stared with broken eyes, words lingering on my lips but my tongue tangled in a mess of things that tasted both bitter and sadly sweet.

And so as it finally drew to a conclusion, I wondered if perhaps, from this day onward, I'd never again be free.


You want a lemon, you'll have to pay me for it. Because not only is the effort much higher, but i'll have to post it on another site due to DA's rules. 
I will do free requests, but if you want yours sooner or higher quality you'll have to pay. I usually do good quality on free request though. It's just doing a whole lot of content for free is a little difficult. Do not feel obligated to pay me though, I will still do free one shot's because thats the kind thing to do.


 I'm okay now.
 I've been dealing with high levels of stress due to health and the end of the school year assignments. But I've recently been working on my depression and I've achieved some results due to my hard work.

 I should be able to get back to writing this summer, so hopefully you'll read the updates on my works. 

 Thank you so much to all of the people who were there for me and are my friends here on DA! I really appreciate your kindness. 



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NearRyuzaki90 Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Ty for the fav ^_^
riseagainstevil Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2017
you're welcome!
birdgirl69 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for :+fav:
riseagainstevil Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2016
birdgirl69 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Vocashugorabbit Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2016  Student Artist
Thanks for the fave!! ^^
riseagainstevil Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2016
morianna19 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fave on my reader insert! Hug 
riseagainstevil Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2016
You're welcome
ClaireMaeda Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Tnx 4 the fav!!La la la la
Visit if u like my gallery*w*
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