Don't you see?

 Everytime you run your hands through my hair, I give in once more.

 Everytime you give me that sad look, I forgive you.

 And yet everytime you pull me back to you, you end up breaking me again.

 Everytime I see you drift away, lying here and staring in sadness because I am hopeless.

 I watched as you break me, over and over again. See your lips move, dripping with endless words that only serve to puncture this heart of mine further.

 It hurts.

 And yet I cannot seem to deny you when you come crawling into my arms, tears streaming down your face. I cannot find it within myself to truly hate you, even as you cast me to the side so easily.

 I just sit here, with lifeless eyes and a breaking mind as I stare longingly at your disinterested face. Why is it that I sit here so stupidly, words such as "do you want to play a game?" or "we can watch movies if you'd like..." falling from my twisted tongue as I hold back tears and smile pitifully.

 And yet there is that cold look you always give me. You, the one who refuses to let me go, you are the one who treats me as if I am silly.

 And I know, I know that I'm just your second choice. You come running to me when you are having trouble finding ways to cure your bordem. I am no more important than a deck of cards or a board game. And still, I dance like a fool for you, always trying to entertain you.

 I always reply to your texts immediately, I never miss your calls. I drop whatever I am doing just to be there for you. And yet it takes days, weeks, even months for you to so much as even read a text from me...and when you call I always know that you have some ulterior motive.

 And still I stare so brokenly at a phone that I know deep in this twisting heart of mine will never ring. And even if it does, your words would never mean a thing because it's all pretty lies meant to trick me.

 I'm being dragged around by the chains which connect us, and yet you don't seem to care. 

 You feel nothing when I cry.

 You feel nothing when I break down.

 You felt nothing, did nothing, said nothing when I fell apart and stood at the edge of the lake, phone in hand as I dialed your number just hoping that you would come to my side and tell me that things would be okay.

 Because I always did for you.

 Even as I told you the despair I was feeling, the desire to end my miserable life, you said nothing.

 You didn't even care!

 A thousand people could tell me they want me to live, but what am I supposed to do when the person who means the most to me is the one who doesn't care enough to even say a word as I stand at the throat of the world just inches away from taking a leap into oblivion?

 You wouldn't even shed a tear, even as the life would have drained from my eyes...you would still have felt absolutely nothing. 

 Because to you...I'm nothing.